Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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