We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
