yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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