His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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