this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
