If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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