why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize