so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
