I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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