how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
