Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize