Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
