I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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