is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize