I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
