oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize