Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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