thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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