is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The best revenge is premature balding
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
