i don't like sucking hair
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
God, I missed his penis.
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