The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
