That's when you crack a 10am beer
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
