It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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