To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
