I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
