At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize