I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
