dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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