so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
