The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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