and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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