let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Randomize
