Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
