I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
