Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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