Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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