so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
