I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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