Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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