I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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