i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
