if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
