I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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