I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
