Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
