Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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