My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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