the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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