K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Congratulations! We have a period
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