Sponge bath it is.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
