I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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