I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize