dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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