Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize