so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize