I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize