she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
