he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Vodka?
Forever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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