Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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